Hows this bit of my story ?

No, that is NOT the stly of PC and Kristin Cast, they have their own style, and even if someone could manage to duplicate it, it is absouley NOT you. In all honeslty, this peice is horrible. I mean, you can't even tell what's going on, All btw, all capitals in a story show stark amaturity. You just have so many issues, I can't even begin to explain.